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Why We Attract Difficult People; The Complex Law of Attraction

red and yellow u-shaped magnet

This week was an unusually tricky one. Everywhere I looked, I saw someone being coerced, manipulated, or controlled. Since this is not a norm for me, I knew something else was at play. Why was I attracting this experience?

Early on in my journey, I studied Abraham Hicks to better understand the Law of Attraction. According to these teachings, your thoughts create what happens in the physical world as you are powerful and can create anything you want in the physical world. For a while, as I implemented the teachings into my life I experienced pure joy, freedom, and complete trust in the universe. I had endless synchronicities, felt so nurtured and guided, it was as if I was living in the fifth dimension for nearly a year. It was all great, until a boyfriend at the time claimed that he knew my truth better than I did, stating that unless I apologized for his false accusations I couldn't be around him. I then came to the hard realization that those teachings left out a few complexities that would have been nice to know so I didn't have to learn them the hard way. While I gained a stronger sense of self, I lost my trust in the universe -- not seeing why the relationship had to end in such a disempowering way.

While it may be true that our thoughts create our reality, it is more accurate to say that reality is influenced by our vibrational frequency, and any distortions within it. Our frequency is expressed in everything we think, do, and feel. When we have a distorted belief, such as our self-worth being tied to our roles in life, that gets sent out into the universe like a missed note in a symphony. Regardless of how good the musician is, if their instrument is playing off-key their true gifts and talents will never shine in the same way. The musician knows tuning their instrument not only in their highest good, but in the best interest of the entire symphony.

sheet music at performance

According the the law of attraction, only things that are a vibrational match can encounter each other. So the question then becomes, how can I be a match with someone who represents the opposite of what I stand for? The answer lies in understanding that on a higher level we each choose it.

These messages have been unfolding for a few weeks, and the lesson a few lifetimes. As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, I encountered a lot of coercive energy in a short period of time with one woman in particular standing out. She was trying to convince me to turn my website over to her. Even though I politely turned her down, she internalized it as a rejection. I tried to reassure her that it wasn't personal, just not something I'm looking for at the time. That's when I heard an uncanny resemblance to words of that past partner: I know what's best, more than you ever could. Even though I'd seen through it, it angered me knowing that this was happening to others who might not be able to. I ran the Crystalline Soul Healing on myself to gain clarity on how this was serving my highest good.

The first thing my Higher Self showed was how my instinct to resist and push back would not lead to transformation, it was just me engaging in duality. When I asked "how, if I'm standing up for people", I began to understand if this situation triggers anything but compassion that means I have an unconscious belief that these people are taking power from others when they take advantage of others.

This in itself is a distorted understanding my own power, as the truth is it can never be taken. It may be misplaced or forgotten for a while, but it never truly lost. We are sovereign.

I sensed that this was a soul fragmentation from a past-live trauma. When I began to lean into it more, I felt a heaviness in my chest and a lot of unexpected emotion came flooding to the surface. I discovered I'd been carrying pain around others expressing their free will in irresponsible ways because I was resonating with the suffering of the victim. But I had been out of touch with the pain the offender inflicted on themselves. My Higher Self showed me a few more scenes of an abuser/victim dynamic, only this time I could feel more strongly the pain the abuser carried. As the compassion in my heart grew, I was reminded of Jesus when he said "Forgive them; for they know not what they do" before he was crucified. Immediately memories of a past-life where I was burned at the stake resurfaced. Although, I could handle it for myself, it was something else entirely watching my two kids being burned alive along side me. A piece of my soul had fragmented as I had been unable to forgive the people who justified harm because they believed they had a right to do it.

The dots started connecting before my eyes. The past-life trauma, to the fight that ended the previous relationship, to the unwanted encounter with a stranger... they were trying to trigger me so that I could heal from the past-life trauma.

rainbow light reflected across an eye

Towards the end of running the energy on myself, I could see the innocence in the people that feared healers, the innocence of that former boyfriend, and the innocence of the woman I encountered. They were all just expressing from a painfully distorted belief that their power is outside of themselves, and the whole thing was a cry for help. They were each seeking their own sovereignty but didn't know where to find it, so their solution was to try taking it from someone else. The session reminded me of how Jesus's compassion and purity of heart did not change his outcome but it certainly had a lasting impact on the world. Holding the resonance of love, compassion, and forgiveness even in the face of death is one of the hardest but most powerful expressions of Truth.

I now understand why things had to happen the way they did with the break-up that took me out of my high vibrational state many years ago. I now understand how we match up with people who represent the opposite of what we stand for. I now understand we are all unconsciously working out of distortions so that we may come out on the other side of it realigned with the knowing that our sovereignty is untouchable.

Q: So why do we attract difficult people?

After completing this template, I immediately reached out to the woman who served as a catalyst for this profound soul-level healing thanking her for her part in helping me release past-life trauma, and reminding me of the natural compassion we feel for others when we aren't triggered ourselves. To my surprise, she thanked me back stating that the entire encounter helped her work through some stuff, too.

A: To serve as each other's catalyst to remember who we are -- perfect, whole & complete.

If you are interested in learning more about Crystalline Soul Healing you can click here. Katie Christensen is a past-life regressionist, trained in BQH and Level 2 QHHT. She also practices Crystalline Soul Healing for clients, and hosts the Meetup Group Awakening Through Explorations of Consciousness. To find out more, visit


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